Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
