Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
