You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
