they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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