He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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