This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize