My friends, they love my intelligence
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
