I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
