Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
