we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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