hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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