i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
