smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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