so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
