Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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