when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
