No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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