So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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