I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have demons in me.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
