I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
