i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
