Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
