Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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