no, he came in my armpit
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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