What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
