how can u be prego again
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize