Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We had sex on a dog bed..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
