my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
