i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
