bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
