so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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