I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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