the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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