I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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