oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
