I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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