she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
