And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
