Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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