so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
