sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
