I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
