so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
