haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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