Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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