But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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