The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have fence marks all over my body
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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