No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
