eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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