His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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