As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
