We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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