But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
