i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
