these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
