I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
