So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
