He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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