Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
