i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
