Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
