I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
