I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
only you would photoshop your dick
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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