Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We left an ass print on the piano.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
