you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
