i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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