eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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