I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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