Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
