Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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