She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
