do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
