we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
