it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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