My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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