Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
